So I'm Taking the Bull by the Balls...Or Was It horns?

     Yes, that seriously IS my post title. I've decided that moving would probably be for the best. It's not that I hate it here. I love it here. My family's here and life seems pretty easy here but I need more in my life than easy. I'm still writing and I really want to pursue that as well as my acting which is a horrible mix since both are businesses that deal highly in rejection. But let's face it, I'm alright with dealing with rejection. Anywho, I'm super excited to have the opportunity to move into a new place that I can finally call MINE! And though I'd prefer to live alone simply for the wonderful opportunity to strut around in my knickers, I'm glad to say that if I do move I'll have the pleasure of my brother as a roommate. And boy am I going to be on his ass about dishes and dust.
     I'm scared though. I will miss my daddy most of all and though I know he'll be okay I'm worried that no one will be there for him. I love him and I'm pretty much the only person that makes a REAL effort. I wish others would too. He wouldn't be alone all the time...when did children start worrying about their parents?!
     Anywho, it was a recent development in my life that I just needed to put out there to make sure that I continue to follow through. It's a big world out there. And I'm ready to discover it.

It Seems That I Have No Friends

     Okay, so I don't mean that I don't have ANY friends. I do have friends but it occurs to me that I do not have anyone or group that I hang out with on a regular basis. The last person that I had that with...well I don't want to get into that. Lets just say that I don't talk to them anymore except for a few comment exchanges on Facebook. And that was about a year and a half ago? Or was it just a year? I don't know and it doesn't even matter. The point is at some point I pulled away from everyone.
     My high school friends went their own way and I went mine and then the ones that I still hung out with made new friends and I didn't see them as much anymore. I've made new friends too but they too have friends of their own that they hang out with regularly. So I'm...not alone but solitary I guess. I enjoy the company of other human beings at times but for some reason I revert back to my corner of the world.
     There's a thought that occurs to me very often. I don't voice it aloud and I never linger on it but it seems that this thought which occurs to me often falls under the topics of today's blogs.

Am I boring? I think I am.


But if I am, I think I make myself that way. I'm not the person I use to be. I'm more subdued, reserved, and mellow...redundant sentence is redundant. So how do I get comfortable enough to let myself be the person I was born to be? My brother Pete is one of the only people who knows me. My Mom too I guess. Because honestly guys, I'm dumb. Like, silly dumb. I'm stupid. I'd probably be annoying to most people if I let myself be. I probably already am.

     Anywho, today's blog was just to vent. I have thoughts and if I don't get my thoughts out of my head they interfere with my writing. Which I haven't done in a few days