I don't want a dramatic life though that is what I find myself wishing when I watch my "shows". I put that in quotations because I don't want it to be confused with the same "shows" that stay-at-home moms refer to as "shows". I'm not interested in Soaps. I mean, regular, primetime shows. I don't want that to be my life. I mean, sure I wouldn't mind the money…who wouldn't? But I'm not into the dramatics. I don't know what would happen if I had to deal with a new highly stressful and dramatic moment every single week of my life. I think I'd go a little crazy. No, I want a quiet life. However I find myself at a crossroads in my life. I see several roads ahead of me and the decisions are not easy.
One road I should not take though taking it would bring me a sense of fulfillment in an area of my life that I have not dealt with in over two years. That road is also only partially mine to take. I can put myself on it but without the other person to meet me halfway…it's not very likely.
Another road is completely mine to travel. I have worked on something and I need to walk forward and take what I know is rightfully mine. All I need is a little faith from the right people.
And the last road, though it is one that I travel, it is not in control. Constant construction, wear, and tear are inevitable and though it is slightly of my own doing most consequences are not in my control.
So here I am, wondering what exactly it is that I can do to help my life move forward. I'm in debt, a debt that I have yet to REALLY start paying. Sending in one payment is not exactly something that I can consider a successful start. I need to tackle that and still concentrate on the other roads in my life that must be taken and one that I must choose to take even if the outcome may be painful. A decision that has its own consequences that do not only include me. So how do I make this decision? Everything takes risk…but how much risk is okay to take and when is it okay to risk someone else's well-being as well?
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