Crappy Websites and Why They Anger Me...Sort Of

So I'm surfing the web and I come across a website (I shall not disclose the name less legal action be taken against me for expressing my opinion) and I can't believe how...naive, cynical, sexist, and just plain stupid it is. I understand expression and the fact that we are all entitled to free speech and press as dictated to myself and countless of first graders across the nation in the first amendment; What I do not understand is how a website (I believe was created for fun) could have taken such a reckless and assuming turn.

It's fine to debate the facts about relationships or politics or even the end of the world but for goodness sakes do it with a bit of credibility. As I was reading I felt like I was reading something written by...well...me, about a year ago. If you're going to post a fact then cite your source. I'm not saying limit what you have to say but present your information with a bit of knowledge and tact. I don't know why this website upset me so much. It was fine and "fun" as far as the site's main audience draw was concerned but come on, if you're going to blather on about tons of theories about the end of the world or why women suck at least put up your sources so that other people can make educated opinions about what you've written. Or in the case of the latter more than simply one experience. Perhaps even some testimonials from some readers or friends.

I honestly don't know why this site upset me so much! I've seen many blogs and sites dealing with pure conjecture and opinion but the way this one was written...it was as if someone literally read the first few lines of a few articles and wrote out lengthy paragraphs about what they thought was the truth. Then of course there was the blatant slander against women.

Now, I'm the first to admit that women are hard to live with. I'm a young woman in my twenties and I know that we can be manipulative, controlling, cruel, shameless, jealous, critical, superior (not in the good way), and even a little crazy but come on. The same thing could be said about men. To attack women so vehemently is just stupid. The lines I read in the "defense" of this so called list were conceived by what sounded like singled-handed experiences that all of a sudden define the gender of women all together.

I could also be wrong in my opinion but I have never presumed to write a lengthy blog spewed purely from the fringe of research, the edge of truth, or even the faintest touch of limited experience.

No one's perfect (seriously) but would it kill people to go back and read what they've written at least once just to make sure that "for" doesn't come out as "or"?

Profound but Forgotten

     Over the past two days I've had a number of profound thoughts. As I have them, I contemplate on them and then, when I finally think to write them down...I find that I've forgotten what the thoughts were. I'm not sure exactly why I forget them. They're deep thoughts; clear and...well...profound. But they're intangible. Almost as if they aren't mine. I can't keep a hold on them no matter how hard I try to keep a hold on them. I'm not going to make a big deal out of this. These thoughts are "seeing". Maybe I'm not meant to remember them or maybe I'm forgetting on purpose because I know that remembering them would...I don't know, confuse me? Whatever the reason, I'm going to ignore it. Maybe I'll find a notepad close enough one day for me to write them down in.
     I wonder if maybe I'm going crazy. But crazy people think they're sane, right? So I guess I'm alright...maybe...

Some Support

     I keep trying to find some support for my writing but I can't really seem to find any. I mean, I have some. I've gotten a fairly large stream from two friends who have read almost everything I've written. One more than the other. But I need more than two opinions. I'm still waiting for two opinions and who knows if I'll get them. Hopefully I will soon and I hope they're real opinions. By all means, I want to hear what people love about my stories but I also want to hear the bad. I need to know what I can improve in order to grow as a writer and thinker.

     Anywho, if there's any interest from people who will actually read my stuff let me know! I'd be glad to share.

I Miss the Action, Not the Boy

    I'm a big believer in missing the action but not the boy. What I mean when I say that is…I miss getting up at seven in the morning, going over to the boy's house to spend the whole day with him, but as soon as I'd get there we'd go right back to sleep. But I don't miss the boy or the boy's house or the boy's arms. I miss the feeling of getting up early, going to the house, and going right back to sleep while I was held. I miss the action, not the boy. When I think about the moment I don't think, "I miss the way his arms felt around me." I think: "I miss going to sleep as soon as I'd gotten there while I was held."

    Now, I'm not saying that any pair of male arms will do. But at the time the boy was special and if another pair of arms attached to another boy who was equally as special or perhaps and hopefully more so than that first one, then by all means…bring on the moment. I think when girls and guys separate from their partners, no matter how long the separation (but more than likes in a long term one like mine, it's been years), and they look back at what was done in the relationship most of the time they mistake the emotion they got while it was happening with the person they did it with. Most of the time it had nothing to do with the actual person but how you felt about the person at the time. It has to do with the feelings you had for the person.

    And although that person lead up to those feelings being there it, by no way, means that they are the only person capable of making you feel it. We don't need to look back or go back to feel it again but find someone who makes you feel even better than that person did and this time around it won't only be as satisfying but it'll also be better.

A Lot to Ask For

    Regularity has never been something that I liked. I'm not on a regular sleeping schedule. I don't listen to regular music. I don't like regular movies. I don't do things regularly though I should (exercising). So it's hard to imagine a life where I go in to work day after day doing the same inane tasks over and over again. I don't like it. I like the promise of not knowing what I'll do for a whole day. Maybe I'll wake up and head to the park. Maybe I'll sit in front of my computer and write all day. Maybe I'll watch a few movies with a couple of friends. Maybe I'll audition for something today. Maybe I'll read a new book.

    I like not having something to tie me down. It's why I tell people that I don't want to have kids because having kids means that I can't do everything that I want to do when I want to do it. It's selfish but it's my right. In high school, going to school every day was the only thing I knew. Band kept things from getting too boring. We were always learning new songs and I was always learning to use new instruments. Then I discovered theater and things really got interesting. I was someone else every day. And even though at the end of that day I'd go home and just be me I knew that at least I could come back the next day and be a better someone else.

    Growing up is hard. I don't like that I have to get a job. I want to move to Austin when the time is right and I need money to do so. But if I get a job to get said money I won't be able to go see my mom whenever I want to (even though, technically, I can't go without money to do so) or help my brother pick up my nephew and sis Kourtney over in Florida this summer.

    I hate the restrictions though I know it's something I have to deal with.

    I don't want to be rich (though it wouldn't hurt). I don't want to be famous. I just want to love what I do and have the liberty of choosing when or when I don't do things.

    But that's a lot to ask for.

Mama?

    This blog might be somewhat depressing. I was just watching "Medium" and it was a season finale of…bizarre and strange topics as "Medium" often has. However, there was one small topic , that of the relationship between a mother and her daughter, that hit me somewhat sorely.

    My parents got divorced when I was in junior high. After the divorce was final my mom sold our house and decided to move to Victoria with her new husband. Since my dad had no house to live in, I couldn't exactly live with him so I moved in with my grandparents so that I wouldn't have to start school in a brand new town (though considering the way some relationships turned out I have to wonder what kind of "friendships" I would have made somewhere else—But I have absolutely no regrets about staying in E-E. After all, it's not every cast in Texas that makes it to State OAP). High school was a fun time for me though to be quite honest; my grandmother wasn't necessarily the best person to enforce stability into my life. I got away with sleeping in late and sometimes staying home the entire day and it wasn't necessarily something I should have been doing. I figure it was my small way of rebelling even though it wasn't much of a rebellion.

    My dad was around but not every day seeing as I didn't live with him. And after some time, the fact that my mother didn't come around as often as she said she would or called as often as she said she would began to affect me though not visibly. I never spoke about how much it bothered me. I finally spoke with my mom about it and we cried on the phone for several long hours and after that I expected things to change. But they didn't. I love my mom. She's my mom. I only get one. But sometimes I can't help but feel that I've missed out on something not having her there with me those four years of high school.

Reading Is Out of Style

    I'm sitting here watching "You've Got Mail" and thinking about the fact that children reading continues to have a downward trend. Though books like Harry Potter and the Twilight Saga has reopened the doors to reading books most kids/teens stop at these books and don't bother to open up another one. It's a shame because I can't help but think about all the adventures they're missing out on. However, though I know laziness can have a huge part in keeping kids from reading, I think that most of the fault lies with parents.

    Most busy and hard working people barely have much time to eat let alone spend hours with their kids teaching them to read. Obviously I'm thinking more about kids as young as four barely starting out with school. These are the kids that absorb the most but often absorb the wrong things. I have a cousin who was about three and already she knew her ABC's. Another cousin of mine, same age, had no idea how to recite the ABC's. The schools here aren't exactly great but they're not bad.

    I think in order to get around freely in their daily lives (parents less prepared to actually have kids are more prone to doing this) parents rely on T.V. and movies and other similar forms of entertainment to keep their kids busy. We start them out too early on Television and video games. I love video games and I love T.V. and movies but as a child I also remember constantly being with a book in my hand whether that was Dr. Seuss, Amelia Bedilia, or in my later years Harry Potter.

    There so much difference from the life I grew up with and the life that, say, my nephew is currently leading. Sattelite, Cable…I never had that. We grew up with a T.V. antennae where ten channels were all we had. The only time I really enjoyed T.V. was Saturday morning when I'd get up at seven just to sit in front of the T.V. to watch cartoons until around one o'clock when all the "adult" programs started. And any other time I watched T.V. was when I got out from school for an hour or two and most of the time it was PBS (with the exception of Sailor Moon and Gargoyles). The rest of my time was spent outside, running around, getting scars.

    I came in sweating and dirty. The only time I played video games was when I could sneak in a few minutes when my brothers were out. Then when that got boring enough (playing video games alone can be fun but only for a while) I would go outside. My brothers and I spent our time plucking the little green balls from the tree in the front yard and pelting them at each other. Those things hurt! But it's something I wouldn't trade in for anything. My nephew is five years old and still can't read. I hear my brother trying to tell him about how important reading is but even he doesn't read. I have a cousin who cringes at the thought of reading. When did it become un-cool to enhance one's vocabulary? When did using one's imagination go out of style?

    This is just my little rant. Reading isn't a fad people. It's something we'll always have to do.

Sacred Terra: Awaken the Sage

    I've written a book. A novel. A story. It's…probably crap but I like it so that's all that really matters. My friend Isabel likes it too which makes me happy. My story's about a girl who moves to a new town only to find that the friends she makes seem very familiar for people she's never met. And then she finds out that the reason they seem familiar is because she's actually some sacred being from a hidden realm here on Earth where people actually take care of the planet. Now she has to face the choice of going back and helping them fight some big evil or be selfish and stay put and watch the world slowly decay.

    It's…not your everyday story. It's got some love and action and adventure. And some friendship too.

    I think the one thing I'm worried about is making copies of the manuscript for some of my family and friends. The problem with that is wondering whether they'll actually read it. Some of these friends and family…well I guess you could say have never really taken an interest in what I can do. I mean, sure, they came to watch my plays but that's sitting in a darkened room catching a show. That's easy to do unless the shows were bad and luckily for me, they weren't. But handing someone a 170 page manuscript and expecting them to actually read it is a bit of a…risk.

    Isabel read it but because she'd been reading it since the very beginning. From the moment I first had a few pages long enough to really mean anything she read it. And she's stuck with the story and loves it apparently. She loved the un-edited version where everything was all mismatched and contradicting itself.

    I guess the only thing I can do is have faith but I'm thinking about just making two or three copies and LENDING them out. We'll see what happens. 'Til then here's a small teaser for those of you who do genuinely want to read it and who read my blog. It's not much but it's a picture which is the only one that people will see when it comes to my novel.

Walking the Synthetic Line

    No, I don't mean plastic surgery. This will not be a blog about Heidi Montag. I really don't care what some blonde does with her body. At least now I can tell my niece that Barbie really does exist.

    This blog is a bit more important that altering one's appearance. I was dreaming last night about lots of different things. And among those were AMTM's very first all plus sized models season, a mall with lots of stores I've never heard of, and one particular purse that I think was my dream purse. I made such a fuss over it in my dream. The bag was a soft pink with a very small hint of polka dots of a darker pink. There was a little bit of frill on the outer side. Needless to say the bag was girly but it all worked in such a wonderful way. It was just the right size and had just the right amount of compartments. I wanted it and I grabbed. And my dream purse was only $18! I had to get it. I remember walking right up to the counter and just as I was about to buy it I stopped and pulled the bag off of the counter and looked at the girl behind the counter and simply demanded, "What's this bag made of?"

    The last thought I remember having was, "This had better be synthetic." And other than the waking up with the realization that Ian Somerhalder is my soul mate, I knew that I needed to get this out into the void for those as uninformed as I was a while back.

     A couple of weeks ago…or…to be honest I'm not sure how long ago it was. But I made a vow to use only synthetically made products after watching a very educational short for PETA, narrated by Joaquin Phoenix. Despite his absence from the media and awkward departure from the entertainment industry, I'm happy to see him back and backing such important causes. I never liked the selling of exotic skins to make bags and such but this video of his really opened my eyes. I can only hope by talking about it here that I'll open the door for others. Maybe others will make the pledge to go synthetic: No leather, no wool, no fur. Please think about what you're really doing. I know I can't exactly go veggie at this time (let's face it, I love me a good burger!) but I can try to help as much as I can, even if it is just one less person buying.

    Anyway, Joaquin says it much better than I do. I will warn you, however, if you're susceptible to the pain of animals and are easily rattled…this video is graphic in nature and it would be best if you watched this video with a box of tissues or more environmentally favorable, a hanky.

Too Late To Realize

    I've always lived in a world where people don't care about what's going on around them. By "around them" I mean the world, not the girl from down the street who slept with the guy from the next town over who's going out with their cousin's sister's best friend who has a kid fathered by her boyfriend's step-brother. Things happen: Hurrican Katrina, 9-11, earthquake in Haiti, possible Tsunami in Hawaii; and they could care less. Why? Because they don't have to care, according to them.

    The past couple of days I've been watching and reading posts, tweets, news articles and broadcasts about the oil spill in the gulf and almost everyone that I've seen has yet to mention anything about it. They don't discuss the news because it's not a fad yet. It took about a week before Haiti really gained any "popularity" among the general public and even then most people could only talk about some guy talking about how Haiti deserved it.

    I try to incorporate as much green as possible into my life. We only get one chance at this life and only one chance at making this place a better place not for our children, but for ourselves.

    I've been trying to make sense of this place we call home. The days are getting hotter, the winters are getting colder and harsher, the spring isn't lasting as long as it use to, and fall has almost permanently melded itself in with summer.

    I know that my writing seems erratic and it's because at this very moment I can't think straight. I'm trying to keep myself from crying because I honestly don't know any other way of letting out my frustration. This oil…all of this oil that's spilled in the Gulf, why aren't people panicking? These are OUR oceans. This is where our fish swim. I say "our" because this planet is OURS. ALL of ours. Not the U.S. Not the U.K. Not Russia or Spain or Australia or China but ALL of ours. This planet belongs to all of mankind and all we can do is destroy it.
      I honestly don't know what else to say. I want to sit quietly and glare at everyone that passes by but at the same time I want to shout out at the top of my lungs. I want to cry and I want to scream. Just this morning I read an article on the five most polluted cities and they were all in California!
    What has to happen to provoke a change?

    For those of you who live here in The RGV with me…the distance from the Louisiana Gulf shore to the oil spill is about from Edcouch to Edinburg or Mcallen. It's that close. If it was up to me I'd suggest we all use buggies, carriages, and horses to get around from now on. Hell, bikes work just as well too. Maybe even skates and roller blades. What's sad is that even with all of this in the media, from episodes of The Simpsons to real life tragedies like this Gulf spill, people continued to look the other way whether by habit or choice. The sad thing about it is that writing this blog is about as much as I can do as opposed to walking around collecting trash which I'm already scheduling to do. I don't have the money or power to make real change so I'll start with my own backyard. Maybe I'll organize a water bottle collection or water bottles and batteries…I need to do something. I can't just sit here in front of my computer and wait for the world to change.

    -StephAnnDLC-

     

The “Ma’am” Situation

    I realize that I've been out of high school for a couple of years and I'm twenty-one now instead of eighteen but why do kids have to call me Ma'am?!

    I don't feel as bad when I'm in a position of authority, like when I was a lifeguard at the public pool. It's only logical that because I have the say-so around the area that they'd call me ma'am or miss or whatever kids are using these days.

    I walked out of my house the other evening to head out with my Dad into town to pay the phone bill. I walked around to the front of my car and a few kids, probably freshmen in high school, were walking by at the same time I was heading towards my car. There was one boy who looked slightly older than the rest and he was the one that looked at me and said, "Good afternoon, uh, evening, Ma'am."

    I simply looked at him with a small smile and nodded. Then I got in my car and I started it up and pulled out. As I drove to pick my dad up, I couldn't help but think, When the hell did I become a ma'am? It's just one of those things that you begin to notice. That's because I apparently look young for my age! I'm carded everywhere I go. I buy a drink at Chili's and they card me. I can't even walk into a liquor store without the people behind the counter stopping me first and asking me for my ID. But I guess I've reached that age where I look young to older people and older to younger people.

 

-StephAnnDLC

A Friendship Lost

    I recently had a falling out with a friend and to be honest I'm not sure exactly why. I feel hurt and though the remnants of that hurt is just a small scar now that still stings on occasion when you happen to get something tangy over it…

    I've had a lot of people defend said friend. I've heard arguments left to right. "Sixty days of honey moon." "Just afraid about how you'll react or act." "Perhaps you haven't tried hard enough." But all of these just sound like excuses to me. Then there was "you did the same thing. You'd blow me off." And *Matt was right. I did push him away and make excuses and just suddenly stop talking to him and others but I was in a part of my life that may not be as dark as some other people's but it was pretty dark compared to how I usually am. I'm not the type to go binge drinking or get high. I'm the type that cuts myself off from everyone because something's happened and I honestly can't deal with anyone.

    I made that mistake and even though it's what I needed at the time, just some alone time with me, I know that I hurt people and I'm really sorry that I did.

    But even though *Matt made that argument for my other friend it doesn't even compare. I cut myself off from *Matt because I needed some space to be me. To sort things out in my life. I cut myself off from almost all of my friends because something was wrong with me. But what this other friend did was suddenly say 'Oh, I've found someone else to spend time with, bye!' And though I know being in a new relationship is all good and dandy (heck if I was in a new relationship I'd probably want to spend as much time with my new beau as possible) but does that really have to mean cutting out one person—because as far as I know I'm the only one—completely? Friendships take work. Which is why I'm trying to make it up to *Matt now. I'm only glad it wasn't too late.

    But to this friend, if this friend even cares anymore, I say this:

    Please don't come back. You fooled me once and I forgave you because I thought the friendship was worth it. I knew that if we could just get over that hump then everything would be okay. And then things went back to normal. And then you did it again. I'm not filler. I'm not someone that you can have around when you feel lonely and then ignore when you don't. You hurt me, though it might not make sense to some people. There are those who don't think you're worth or ever were worth the time. But to me you were important. There's a small hole where your presence use to be but I don't need you to fill it anymore. I'm past that. I've moved on and hopefully you never miss our friendship because I won't be here when you do. IF and when you ever regret what's happened, don't call me, don't text me, don't email me. By then I'll have figured out some way to block you out of my memory completely. But please don't get me wrong. I wish you the best. I want you to have a happy life. I want you to experience every form of happiness possible but I don't want to know about it and I don't want to go back. Forward is the only way to go.

    To those of you who defended my old friend, I did listen to what you said. I did take it in and I did consider it logically and with as much of an unbiased mind as possible. I've always been able to look at a situation from the outside in so trust me when I say that I gave this a lot of thought. Now I can finally close this chapter of my life and start fresh.

    Goodbye, old friend.

*Names have been changed for privacy of those involved.

-StephAnnDLC-

HANG UP ALREADY!!!!

    Okay, so I never thought I'd go for blogging twice in one day but something just happened that really, really, REALLY peeves me. I understand the older generation is still a bit funky on the whole cell phone thing so they do most of their calling through landlines. Which is fine, don't get me wrong. I like a good house phone as well as anyone else. But what really gets my blood boiling is when the phone keeps ringing…and ringing…and ringing and ringing and ringing! Seriously! I mean, after five rings I usually hang up. On cell phones people can press the 'ignore' button. But on landlines all you can pretty much do is sit there and wait until the phone stops ringing.

    You sit there, staring at the phone, RING!, and you stare, RING!, and you sit, RING!...It's like, "DUDE! HANG UP ALREADY! I'M NOT GOING TO ANSWER!"

    People, if you're the type to let the phone ring and ring and ring, do everyone a favor and after five rings on your end, just hang up! Because honestly if the person really wanted to answer your call (this is assuming they have caller ID) then they would have picked it up around the second or third ring. Trust me, a person immediately knows whether they want to answer or not.

    Okay. That's my little rant for the day. Hopefully, the week.

-StephAnnDLC-

The Male is a Beautiful Thing

    I think it might just be the fact that I'm getting older, that I'm maturing (in ways), but the male figure seems to have been getting more and more beautiful. Not in a rated X sort of way. I know most people spend their time with their mind in the gutter. I can't remember the exact moment it happened, I know I tweeted it.

    I've always liked boys. Boys are cute. Boys are handsome. But they're just boys. There's something so appealing and irresistible about a man's silhouette. The broadness in the shoulders, the slender waist, the long legs, the strong chest, and I've also noticed that for me, a lot of the attraction comes not from what I see but from what I hear.

    I think I first discovered my affinity for the sounds of a male's deep and comforting vocal tones was when I discovered Cary Elwes. I've always been an audible person so I suppose it only makes sense that I would be most attracted to the sound, pitch, and tenor of the male voice. I don't think that I could be with someone in a long-standing fashion if I didn't enjoy the sound of their voice. If their voice didn't make me say, "Ooh, say that again!" just to hear his voice. I guess that explains the failure of my past relationships. Not to mention I was still a kid when I was in those relationships.

James McAvoy

Ewan McGregor 

Lee Pace

    Just a few more sexy men who spur me into a frenzy simply by the sound of their voice.



Edit:
    OH! And I forgot one more! Ian Somerhalder! --Oh Damon, how you've changed my bad boy streak!

-StephAnnDLC-

A Movie

    I don't have enough experience in the entertainment industry and I've recently been thinking about making a movie of my own just to get some experience, albeit amateur, experience. And since I've been enjoying so many old movies I think I'll use the same styles I've seen used in A Philadelphia Story, The Apartment, and Without Reservations.

    I'll probably start working on a script soon but I'm still not sure what the storyline should be. It'll be a short film though I'm not sure who's going to help me film it. I'll need someone with vision and someone who preferably kind of knows what they're doing. In my friends I know I've got actors, along with myself.

    But what should the storyline be…?

-StephAnnDLC-

Not one of those

    Unfortunately, I'm not exactly the type of girl who blogs often or regularly. I blog when I feel the need to and though I'm a bit nervous about putting the following out into the void, I think I need to and mostly for my family and those like me (who I know include thousands and thousands of men and women).

    I recently, after much grief over the struggle to find funding, attended my very first official audition. The experience was exciting and I knew that the chances of me getting the part I auditioned for was slim, as did every other male and female sitting with me in the waiting room. I had no representation so it's safe for you all to assume that the audition was an open casting call. I studied my lines, went in, and did my thing and I knew once I walked out of that building that no matter how well I thought I'd done that the decision ultimately lay with the people sitting behind the wooden table with their camera, scripts, and paperwork. The thing about trying to break into the entertainment industry is that each and every one of us knows that it's going to be a difficult road to travel. The chances of failing are substantial and we all take the risk in putting our lives either permanently or temporarily on hold so that we can travel the distances to make the auditions and put our hopes and dreams into the lives of complete strangers who sit there and size us up in three to ten minutes.

    "Oh, they laughed!" "They looked impressed." "I didn't have to look down at the script."

    But no matter how you thought the audition the truth is, it ends and the only thing you can do is wait. And despite yourself, despite the thoughts that enter your head, you hope. We can't help but hope. I can't help but hope. And the waiting is what kills you. And then enough time goes by that you begin to think, "They would have called me by now". And then you search the internet and you see "the results". That's when the disappointment settles in and makes itself a nice comfortable yet irritatingly festering home. You try to tell yourself that the disappointment is natural. Everyone else you saw sitting in that waiting room and hundreds, maybe thousands, more are feeling the exact same thing you are. So you try to move on and you put it behind you and you suck it up because there will be other decisions and there will inevitably one person out there that thinks you have what they want. That appeases us and so we grin and bear it because in the end it'll be worth it.

    And then I took the next step and told my mom and brother that the parts had been cast. They asked me who and I told them. And what's the first thing that my mom says?

    "Then why did they bother having an open casting call if they were just going to go around and hire from inside the industry?"

    "Because, mom, that's just the way things work. I guess they didn't find what they were looking for."

    And then she made a face and moved into the kitchen. A minute later she came back in and smiled, "Well, there'll be other auditions."

    I sat there with a controller in my hand hunting for the next Little Sister for the next thirty minutes thinking about the fact that they hadn't found what they'd been looking for. I know that the process often has represented and unrepresented actors auditioning for the same roles at the same time. Of course they're going to go with someone who's had more experience. Of course they're going to go with someone who has already proven they have what it takes to handle the job.

    There is no point I can make in this blog that would make any sense. We all feel disappointment but the entertainment industry is one of rejection and though some people won't understand it, it is something that we all have to accept. It's something that I've accepted and something that I'll have to continue dealing with. With no representation, in a part of the nation where people rarely rise to exceptional fortune, all I can do is keep trying and remind myself that I must keep my will and desire alive.

 

    Spoiler Alert! If you have not finished watching "Ugly Betty" or have missed the series finale, do not read on.

    On a less serious note—I was never a fan of "Ugly Betty". I'd never seen an episode. And then I found out that a crush of mine, Eric Mabius, had a starring role and like any other young lady with a crush, I checked the show out. I knew the show was based on the Mexican telenovela "Betty La Fea" which I'd been lucky enough to see a few episodes but as I grew older I lost interest and began to watch other shows. The new version was quirky and funny and had Marc St. James and Amanda Tanen who in my opinion are two of the most entertaining if somewhat annoying characters on Television…ever. I liked to watch them and Betty's love life quickly had me hooked.

    Unfortunately, the last episode of the series aired last week (and as an American-born Mexican-American, I'm sad to say that most shows featuring people of my color seem to get cancelled almost twice as fast as those that aren't—excluding "Pushing Daisies" and "Eli Stone" which in my opinion should have had a much longer run). The last three episodes were horribly rushed and though they made sure to tie up any major loose ends I still have to say that the show ended at such a quick pace that I was only left with a taste of the show's could-be miraculous ending. I've been waiting for Daniel (Eric Mabius) and Betty (America Ferrera) to get together. Many did not like it but personally I knew it was coming. The characters had grown so close and had learned to love each other's flaws during their growing friendship that it was only natural the relationship progress once Betty's unfortunate past suitors disappeared in the distance. Betty always brought out the best in Daniel and Daniel always made sure to tell Betty exactly what he thought when it really counted. The union and development of feelings was inevitable as most fans could see as the seasons progressed.

    In the last two episodes my pulse was racing in every facial close up that Daniel had because it was so obviously hinting at his impending emotional revelation and I'm sad to say that even though he appeared to have accepted his feelings I was very unhappy with the little and quick exploration of their forming relationship. Feelings that develop as such deserve more pomp and circumstance. The fans had been waiting for this realization for years and all we got were two lousy episodes. Where were the tension filled moments? The almost kisses? Where was the declaration of love?! It may not be realistic but it was what fans had expected (those of us hoping to see that particular relationship develop).

    Jim and Pam; Rachel and Ross; Carrie and Big; they all had their ongoing development and it's sad that Daniel and Betty were not given the same chance to make a difference in the hearts of fans everywhere. As someone who loves a love story, I'm disappointed.

    There are rumors of an Ugly Betty movie and fans everywhere from IMDB.com to abc.com have contemplated a spin-off simply called "Betty". But I can only hope that perhaps my desire to see them together will be honored in some way or another and not because it is my desire, but because it's what the characters deserve after a four year long friendship that apparently ultimately led to something much more substantial and special.

    I suppose I should be happy with then insinuations made about where their relationship was going and I'm just glad that I have an imagination powerful enough to feed what I've already seen to make my own ending…for now.

 

    -StephAnnDLC-